Tag: family

In Memory of My Mom

My mother, Virginia, was unconventional. She began her journey as a mother and launched her career in translation and interpreting successfully, while already having six children. To top it off, she got her high school and college diplomas during the same time period. She did have a great head start from the excellent education she received at St. George in Havana, Cuba, where she gained her strong prowess in the English language.

But what drove her to excellence was her joy for life. She knew that life is the greatest gift one has. She received from our grandmother, Concha, an understanding of how precious life is, as her mother wanted so much to have a child and took the risk of her life to bring a baby into the world. That baby was my Mami. This was something indelibly impressed upon her mind and soul.

She knew her mother had wanted to have many children but could not. But her extended family was large, and she quickly became close to her two cousins, Albertico and Bebo. To us, her children, they were our uncles. Whenever they came by, you could always see the joy in my mother’s face. She knew the happiness of family, and that is why she was determined to have a large one.

She got what she wanted and both the fun and the headaches that came with it. I remember my mother typing a book report for my brother Javier in high school in the morning before the bus came! Or when she made me and Javier walk to our high school in the snow because we purposely missed the bus. She was also always there for all of us with our illnesses, taking us to the doctor and making sure we got better and the right care. She read up on everything, and this was before the internet; she spent hours at the library doing research. Often, she knew more than the doctors about what ailed us!

She also had her very private side that only family knew: that she was deeply religious. She had a deep devotion to St. Jude Thaddeus and our holy mother, Mary. I know this because, having spent much time living at my mom’s house, as my wife and I jokingly called “Our Weekend Residence,” I was able to actually get to know her so much better.

She would say prayers every morning, thanking God for the gift of another day and the lack of pain she had from her various cancers. In the evening, she would pray to God, often asking help from the saints, for forgiveness for her sins and for one more day to enjoy the gift that is life itself.

She confided in me that it hurt her deeply, the mistakes she had made in handling certain family matters that later caused problems. She felt she tried her best to make things right and had decided this was of considerable concern, so she added it to her daily prayers. She had great hope that the love of Jesus Christ would come down on the hearts of those affected and heal all wounds.

My mom was a wonderful person; she had great loves, great friends, a huge and happy family. She traveled the world and loved her career, living this earthly life to the fullest. “No one is good but God alone,” as Jesus said, and my mom knew it, and we all should accept this truth that few of us are saints.

In her last hours on her deathbed, she frequently raised her hand and made the sign of the cross, blessing herself. Then, I am told by Rebecca and Donna that she said in her last hour of life, as if to someone, “I know, I am sorry.” This to me is a sign of her humility and love. And there is no greater gift that she could have given me than this example of loving repentance as she was dying. I pray that we can all come to the humility of asking forgiveness and granting it, which is the Christian way.

For this reason, I ask everyone to always remember her in your prayers, and when she gets into heaven, she will remember us as well.

A Mother’s Heart

When times are tough

And you are alone

Your mother’s heart

Will be your home

When life is bright

And you wish to share

Your mother’s eyes

Will still be there

When seasons change

And the wind blows high

You’ll hear her laughter

Floating nigh

When the Lord calls you

To leave this land

It’s your mom

Who’ll be there

To take your hand

Family Man

A Country Song in My Mind

I literally woke up with this song on my mind. Now I got to get someone to put this to music.

Refrain

Family Man

I’m getting close to home,

I don’t want to be late.

I pray to the Lord Jesus

I get home by eight.

My five little children

I’m missing so much.

But most of all,

I miss my wife’s sweet touch.

It’s been a few weeks.

I’ve been on the road.

Crossing these highways

With a massive load.

It’s the nasty weather,

That makes me recall,

My Lord’s got this,

I ain’t in control

Refrain

At the truck stop

Feeling lonely and strange

Eating my beans

Playing with the food on my plate

A nice little woman

Comes by and says to me hey,

I make the cross on my heart

And tell her about my girl Kate.

Refrain

Well, Kate’s, sweet and strong.

And loves me so much.

She wants to have babies,

Because it’s God’s sweet touch

That brings us both closer,

To the eternal one

Plus, the act of creation,

Sure is fun!

 Refrain

I get some time,

Between the long trips

We thank the Lord,

For all our great gifts.

Our home, our food

And the holiday trips

I say my prayers,

In my room all alone.

It’s Kate and the kids

That bring me all my joy.

I could’ve been a rock star.

That ain’t no matter

‘Cause I’d rather have this.

Refrain

What is Love?

(written in 2006)

I recently went on a one-day retreat run by the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. The title for this event, which they usually run twice a year, is called “Catholic Men’s Day of Prayer”. This specific retreat had as its focus Fatherhood.

Fatherhood is a large topic but one of the topics we touched upon was the relationship with our spouses. It was during these conversations that many discussions were shared that opened my eyes to a widely known fact that is in most part ignored in our current society.

We currently live in a society that worships to an extreme individualism and materialism. It seems to be the focus of everyone to be independent, to have their own things etc. However, in a loving community this kind of attitude is actually hurtful and dangerous. It leads to anger, envy and greed. This selfish focus is not how we were created. Man is a social creature, and we need each other to survive and to create a healthy and happy environment for all.

When discussing these issues it became apparent, as usual, that our catholic faith stands in stark contrast to what is promoted by our society. In the early church Christians gave up all their material possessions to join the community. This, of course, is not required of us now but that is because we have a different world economy altogether. But what is required of us is that we love our neighbors as ourselves.

It sounds so nice: love your neighbor as yourself. However it is difficult as we will know. However what makes it even more difficult is our understanding of the word Love. The dictionary has it as follows: 1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> b : an assurance of love <give her my love> This is the primary view of the understanding and use of the word in our society.

The problem lies in that our Lord asks us to do another kind of love. This love is an action word. It is something we do and not something we feel. It is a command as Christians that we are under strict orders to comply. We must love all as our neighbors. Not the soft weak mushy stuff that we are constantly sold but the tough hard love. The kind of love that tells a child no, cares for a sick person and bites its tongue not to say something hurtful. This world would be a much better place if all persons understood this.

One priest told a story that he was speaking to a man who said to him “Father, I don’t love my wife anymore” He looked at this man and said to him “Well, love your wife.” The man looked at him and was confused. He didn’t understand and simply put it is because he thought it was a feeling and not an act. There is one big prerequisite to be able to do this. We must die to ourselves. We must kill that selfish part of us and do what we are asked to do all the days of our lives. Look up to the greatest act of love ever done in the history of the world, our Lord giving his life for us on the cross. Then take up our cross.

If we can achieve this our lives will come together and bring us great joy. We will be able to put our wives and families first and our marriages will be happy and lifelong. We will put others always before ourselves and then the rewards will be great here, and they will be even greater in heaven.