What is Maturity? The USA, a Society of the Immature

It came to my mind yesterday, there is a turning point, typically quite pronounced when a person becomes an adult. What surprised me is when I realized that this point, which was quite pronounced and accepted in the past, is no longer the measure by which our society understands maturity.


This point is elementary, it is when we cease to have the attributes of a child. What are the typical attributes of a child? It is selfishness which often boils into anger and indignation at not being able to get what one wants. It is believing that your life is solely for yourself, and your pleasures must be satiated, and the rest of the world must revolve around meeting these needs or demands.


The ease of our modern comforts has added to childish behavior and extended the immaturity of our young. Persons growing up now seldom have the struggles to survive which bore maturity and compassion towards the people around us. Even worse, the immaturity goes as far as to blame others for their lack of success which often turns into aggression towards those that are in often misguided perceptions better off.

In living for ourselves, we do not partake in the natural order and hence no longer feel any accomplishment in our lives. This lack of true living stems from selfishness. Only in a true loving family atmosphere can one mature into a real adult.


The family is the perfect model of the best of human society and formation. This is because the family that is right ordered, lives not for the individual but for each other. The father and mother joined together in joy to sacrifice their solitary life and create another for which they will continue to sacrifice and work to develop into loving and compassionate human beings. The children of a rightly ordered society are exposed to this love and sacrifice and therefore incorporate these same attitudes into their lives and as they grow, they become mature, as their thoughts no longer dwell on their own fulfillment but towards that of sacrificing time and energy to help others into their own joy filled life.


Sacrifice and compassion for others is the antithesis of our modern society. We live in a country which is sick and declining. We live in a country that lives in the opposite mindset of the quote by President John F. Kennedy “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.” Your country is or was your greater family at that time. I believe we have arrived at this point, as society has consistently removed support for the family by promoting all things contrary to a healthy lifestyle such as pornography, abortion, and contraception which attacks the natural order of life. All three of these have solely one objective, the satiation of our selfish desires to control our lives the way we want to. The new motto and mindset which is the logical outcome of these actions is simply this; the rest of the world be damned if I don’t get things done my way.


Now doesn’t that sound like a five-year-old child simply demanding the thing he believes will bring him pleasure and joy. Sadly, like the young child throwing a tantrum and, in the end, receiving the object of their desires, they quickly realize it does not satisfy and then go on seeking the next object to try to bring satisfaction. However, the children and immature adults unfortunately running our country are pandering to persons just like this that take no responsibility for their actions and want others to solve their problems and give them what they want.


A responsible person is the fruit of a life lived in sacrifice for others. It is strange to me that I must define this. You would think this is understood. Yet, in a selfish childish society, people think it means, “who is to blame if things don’t go my way?” This is what is thought of by those raised in this new narcissistic way of life known as modern society. Sad but true, people who live this life never find true happiness or peace.


In the final analysis, our society is way off of course and will have a crash landing. Yet, people can begin to change the current culture just by themselves living a life of love and self-sacrifice for others. By living with a sacrificial love in our hearts and minds we receive the gift of the natural order of our existence, which is peace and joy. This, my friends, is when we know we have reached the age of maturity.


When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.
1 Corinthians 13:11

The True Sickness of our Society

The USA has been seeing a rash of violence. Mostly young men acting out in irrational hatred and killing many men and women, with some attacks directed at children. This past weekend’s fourth of July shooting in Illinois a all too typical example of the kind of cruel, senseless and misdirected anger which becomes a loss of innocent human life.

The sad issue here is that the media and politicians make an issue of the weapons used as if weapons can shoot people by themselves. Interestingly, over the last twenty years there have been tremendous growth of regulations around the ownership of weapons, yet the incidents continue to increase.

It is quite obvious that the problems are not the weapons used. It is our society. What has changed over the past 50 years that these incidents are becoming more frequent and in shorter intervals?

Technology is very much to blame for this, though indirectly. The most sinister things that have increased violence in our society is in my estimation two-fold. The first is the ever more increasing detachment of young people from society due to the seclusion afforded by computers where instead of physical interaction they interact with people through online media. These interactions also being cold and disconnected from reality. The second is the increased relativism brought about by this increased detachment from reality.

Under technology, we would have to point to the internet. Pornography, an industry that survives under the guise of it being freedom of expression, is pure destruction. This demonstrably abusive industry makes its living in objectifying human beings. By making humans, objects to be used for one’s selfish physical pleasure it causes major disconnects in the minds of those being subjected to it. The young mind, if not properly guided by a responsible adult and supported by a society which raises the value of human life above all else, will eventually turn to outside evil influences. In this case, I say pornography whether in sexual nature or in violent nature in all its forms must be discarded. This is a significant cause of detachment from reality and society.

Another influence is the constant negativity and lack of rational discourse in the public forum. The media plays a major part in promoting the destruction of societal norms in favor of anarchy. It is my belief that in the USA, the attacks on Christianity and Law enforcement clearly makes way the path for violence through relativism. These attacks have been steadily growing under the careful indoctrination of our society through communist propaganda since the 1930s. The failure of communism to overthrow order in the USA in the twentieth century was due to the success of the economy and the country’s strong religious faith. Unfortunately, our current society is now being led like lambs to the slaughter with the help of major media which believes the government should run our lives and not the family. Through government handouts, the dilution of the vote of citizens by illegal immigration and the promise of easy street if we adopt the new world order and throw away the relics of the past.

The truth of the matter, it is these false doctrines are promoting violence and inhuman interaction. They are objectifying all human beings as mere objects as an end to a means of false salvation here on earth. These false doctrines continue to minimize the value of the individual and hence we have the backlash of lost persons against a society which has become atheistic and indifferent to the value of human life in any stages.

My thesis therefore is that what our society clearly lacks is Love. Without a real love for all human life and concern of the individual we will continue to see an increase in violence toward strangers. Whether that violence is done using a rifle, bomb, airplane or automobile does not matter. What matters is that we move away from relativism and take hold of truth. That we reject anything that objectifies and demeans human life, male or female, black, white or any other color, in any way must be the principal in changing this society from one that is increasingly more self-destructive to one that its focus is the care and love of one another. If we can accomplish this, then we will see a decrease in disaffected persons acting out a society which tells them currently that they have no value or purpose.

Jesus then said to those Jews who believed in him, “If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 8:31-32

*A Little Change of Heart

It was about one year ago I made a difficult change in my life. It didn’t affect many people. It was simply that I had decided to befriend and get to know a homeless person. I felt like St. Francis, I had an aversion to the destitute of society and I needed to break that association and come to know them as children of God.

It so happened that there was a colored woman who every morning would sit in front of the St. Patrick’s Cathedral gift shop on 51st street (right over a grate where heat would come up). I remember before the first day I approached her I used to look down at her. I remember there was always crumbled food next to her and I thought it was disgusting. I always averted contact with people like her believing that many are drug addicts, alcoholic etc. and that I should not give them money because I may be supporting their habit. So though I knew in my mind they actually have the same gift of life from God that I have, I treated them like lesser people.

Then I made the effort. It started at first I would just give her a few dollars a day, which made me feel better. However I truly did not change until she asked me my name. Her name was Ann. She had a beautiful smile when you spoke to her. The crumbs she placed on the ground where there to feed the birds. She was an avid reader and enjoyed science fiction. She smoked cigarettes, but only two or three a day. Every day I saw her brought me great joy. She would ask me about my family, my children, my weekend, and my business trips. I would ask her about her health and if she needed anything. She always said she was fine.

Then one week she was not in her spot for a few days. I was concerned and hoped she would come back soon. On Thursday morning she was back. She told me she has a heart condition and had been in the hospital. I told her I would pray for her recovery and I asked her to quit smoking. That was a few months ago.

Recently, I went to mass with a coworker who I had gotten a Mass said for his departed grandmother. I saw my friend enjoy the mass and feel close to his grandmother a year after her death. We came out of the cathedral and went across the street; I was sharing with him my morning routine and so I introduced him to Ann. Ann said to me, “You’re really happy this morning.”  I said I was because my friend Gerry was with me. Gerry said hello and I gave her some money and we said goodbye. It was a special morning.

The week before Ann told me one of her favorite book collections is “The Lord of the Rings”. I was planning on bringing her the full collection in paperback as a gift. Then sadly the day after I spoke to her with Gerry she was not at her normal spot. It has now been almost three weeks since I have seen her. I looked for her at lunch time in different buildings with public parks where she told me she is often found. I did not find her. I have been praying for her everyday hoping that she is well and that I may see her gain.

Sadly I fear that she may not be coming back. I know she would have good and bad days with her heart condition and she often talked it down. Now I am thinking that I may not have done enough to help her. I should have tried harder. I know that I did not give to her as much as she gave to me. She opened my eyes and my heart to the love of God. Her concern for me, a person in a much better state in life, made a significant impression on me. She truly cared for me as a true friend. She had love, the kind of love that we should share and have for all people. She had a truly Christian heart and I will strive to be like her.

I still hold hope that she may come back. But if the good Lord took her I am certain that she is in the bosom of his love. I will continue praying for her everyday not knowing for sure what has happened to her. And if she is in Heaven I know that she prays for me to our Lord.

With love in my heart I say God bless you Ann wherever you may be.

*Written in 2006

What is Love?

(written in 2006)

I recently went on a one-day retreat run by the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. The title for this event, which they usually run twice a year, is called “Catholic Men’s Day of Prayer”. This specific retreat had as its focus Fatherhood.

Fatherhood is a large topic but one of the topics we touched upon was the relationship with our spouses. It was during these conversations that many discussions were shared that opened my eyes to a widely known fact that is in most part ignored in our current society.

We currently live in a society that worships to an extreme individualism and materialism. It seems to be the focus of everyone to be independent, to have their own things etc. However, in a loving community this kind of attitude is actually hurtful and dangerous. It leads to anger, envy and greed. This selfish focus is not how we were created. Man is a social creature, and we need each other to survive and to create a healthy and happy environment for all.

When discussing these issues it became apparent, as usual, that our catholic faith stands in stark contrast to what is promoted by our society. In the early church Christians gave up all their material possessions to join the community. This, of course, is not required of us now but that is because we have a different world economy altogether. But what is required of us is that we love our neighbors as ourselves.

It sounds so nice: love your neighbor as yourself. However it is difficult as we will know. However what makes it even more difficult is our understanding of the word Love. The dictionary has it as follows: 1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> b : an assurance of love <give her my love> This is the primary view of the understanding and use of the word in our society.

The problem lies in that our Lord asks us to do another kind of love. This love is an action word. It is something we do and not something we feel. It is a command as Christians that we are under strict orders to comply. We must love all as our neighbors. Not the soft weak mushy stuff that we are constantly sold but the tough hard love. The kind of love that tells a child no, cares for a sick person and bites its tongue not to say something hurtful. This world would be a much better place if all persons understood this.

One priest told a story that he was speaking to a man who said to him “Father, I don’t love my wife anymore” He looked at this man and said to him “Well, love your wife.” The man looked at him and was confused. He didn’t understand and simply put it is because he thought it was a feeling and not an act. There is one big prerequisite to be able to do this. We must die to ourselves. We must kill that selfish part of us and do what we are asked to do all the days of our lives. Look up to the greatest act of love ever done in the history of the world, our Lord giving his life for us on the cross. Then take up our cross.

If we can achieve this our lives will come together and bring us great joy. We will be able to put our wives and families first and our marriages will be happy and lifelong. We will put others always before ourselves and then the rewards will be great here, and they will be even greater in heaven.

On Suffering and Love

Life never ceases to throw you a curveball now and then. My curveball, which almost struck me out was getting Covid-19 a month ago. Not only did I get it but so did my Fiancée. She started with symptoms first, and I began a few hours later. Before we knew what was happening to us what began as a cough, in a day turned into bronchitis and then a few days later finally double pneumonia.

Now I am healthy, and I would say 99.5% recovered. The lingering effects of the virus, fatigue and a general malaise seem to hit us on and off on occasion, but I would say we are not going to be one of the minority that are in it for the “the long haul”. I expect we will be completely healed in another week.

This experience came a month and a half before our wedding date. Since we have been together, we have had so many good times it is hard to count. We just live in a state of constant happiness. Thinking about the timing, I know we are happy it happened when it did.

Before the virus hit, I lived at my mother’s house. Then because of the virus and my mother’s poor health I began to stay with my fiancée to avoid exposing her when unnecessary. As of March 2020, I have been working out of the apartment and at the that time she was too. We lived and worked together non-stop for six months. I know that for many relationships this was difficult but for us, it was like a fast-forward of what our life was going to be together. It was, living 10 joyful years in one year’s time.

We have had some struggles. Not with our relationship, but with those issues that life typically throws at you. Managing legal and financial issues, dealing with family and health issues of other family members.  And of course, handling our own work schedules and making time for each other which is typically a difficult part in the active lifestyle of 50+ year old adults.

Then came Covid-19 which took us down to the mat. We were down for the count. Somehow, we each picked ourselves up when it was our turn to push ourselves to keep things moving and not give up. She was always there for me and caring for me though she was sick. When she needed something, I would get up to do what was needed. She took me to the hospital to get antibodies and then a day later I had to take her to the hospital because of her low oxygen count, and she spent two days there.

During our illness, friends sent us food and drink which was a real blessing that we will never forget. But in my amazement, we also did our chores. We did the laundry and kept the place clean. We wanted to defeat the virus and part of doing so is maintaining cleanliness. Hence, we did what had to be done, even though we probably could have just laid in bed moaning for days.

It was then that I realized that we were living love in action. Because love is something you do, not something that happens. We made every effort to take care of each other while doing work that was difficult for us in our condition. Not a sour note was sounded the entire time we were suffering.

I look back, and I thank God that I was with Aymee. I don’t know that I would have survived this with anyone else. Likewise, I truly believe that real love can conquer all things. One of the things I noticed is we never despaired and that I believe was because we have an abounding love for each other and faith in God that could not be disturbed.

The primary thread of thought here is that suffering is what often reveals love. To avoid suffering is not a solution for any case. Life is full of times of suffering, and we need to accept it and deal with it head on. If you do not, you will likely miss revealing and enlightening moments in your life that bring great joy on reflection.

Healthy Diet ….the constant struggle

You would think that a person that wrote a book about dieting would be slim for life. Well, not me. I fell off the wagon. It didn’t happen overnight. It was a matter of years. Little by little, the struggles of a divorce and difficulties at work just piled the stress on me.

I would meet people in business and socially. They would never know how tired and hurt I was. I am a positive person but sometimes it is difficult to put a smile on your face when deep down there is serious pain. Yet, I still did it. I smiled and laughed when deep down inside me, I knew things were not right. Not at home and not in my interior life. I was a boat without a rudder.

This stress and anxiety over the years expressed itself through the seeking of pleasure in food and drink. Yes, this would give me some pleasure but in the end I pay dearly for those years of neglect and abuse of my own body.

Overweight and deceptively happy!

Here I am bloated, obese and in poor health. But do not fret! I am rising from the ashes. I have joined Noom to force me to be honest with myself. I am on the right track and with Aymee’s support lost 3 pounds in two days. Ok, its not significant yet, but persistence is the key.

Stay tuned my friends and pray for me while I battle my own weaknesses with the help of God and your prayers.

By the way, bigger clothes make you look thinner than you are…..

I’ll update you soon.

I love you all! 🙂

PS: When I say I am unhappy, I am directly talking about my weight. Actually 2020 has been a good year otherwise.

Why Black Beans Matter!

It has been quite a long time since I have blogged. It seems I did not believe I had anything worth saying. But for the first time in a long time I do have something that needs being said.

Recently, the CEO of Goya foods was attacked by the intolerant socialist for praising the President of the United States of America for creating an environment where his company was able to flourish. This is a company created by immigrants serving the immigrant Latin American community and employing them. This company gave my father, a back then recent escapee of the intolerant communist dictatorship of Cuba and destroyers of free speech, his first decent job in the USA. It was that job that enabled him to get into the food industry and have success with Progresso foods. It was that ability given to him by the hand of the company of Goya Foods that enabled him to later on also become successful and found the money transmittal company RIA ENVIA which after being sold, many years later has become RIA Financial Services.

Black beans are a staple foods of many Latin Americans. They are the food shared by the Cubans when they fought for their independence. They are the food that united Blacks, Whites and Mulatos as they fought side by side to their death against the Spaniards in their war for independence. They are the food that sustained them through hardships and freedoms hard fought for and eventually won. They are the heart of the real and recognized ending of slavery and creation of an unprejudiced independent people that are called Cuban.

Even now across the gap from the USA to the island nation of Cuba there is a love that never ends. The Cubans that make it to this free country work hard and send money back to the Island nation to support family and friends. Meanwhile, the cruel criminal dictatorship, which robs the people of their freedoms and ability to earn a good living still exists. The system has been able to continue to keep the people under their oppressive feet by the help of external funding, though now some of that is beginning to falter.

The Cubans here, both born here and recently arriving still dream for the days we can be reunited with our fellow islanders in a free Cuba. Where we can go and enjoy a real Cuba Libre with breaded steak, black beans and rice. It is a dream I always had hoped I would be able to share with my father but sadly he passed before it could come true.

My Dad

Now, in this great free country of the United States of America there are those that want to continue to try the failed experiment know as socialism, or rightly known as communism. Well, I for one will not stand for it. I will fight if needed to protect this great nation from the evil that has persecuted generations of Cubans with poverty, imprisonment and death for speaking their minds.

In search for food

I have great respect for Robert Unanue for standing his ground. I have great respect for the company which brings pride to many Latin Americans such as myself. And I say again that Black Beans Matter because they are a real symbol of our unity as a people representing freedom and love.

All the Diets Under the Sun – Chapter 6 – Settling Down

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-eb9j4-af58a2

In this podcast I discuss the dramatic changes in my life and how it leads me to my all time highest weight. Which sadly I am not to far from again except things are worse now. I am more that 20 years older, the struggle becomes more difficult.

I hope you enjoy it!

Guillermo

The Decline of Honor and True Love

Woman deserve honor and respect. This post discuss the sad state of modern society’s treatment of women.

I grew up in a time that some often call the sexual revolution. It was a time of anything goes experimentation with sexual encounters. There was a new disregard for any respect for the other person. The goal of the revolution in my mind was nothing unique or new. Why it is called a revolution is beyond me.

The new, so called revolution was not about freedom of expression. It was not about the liberation of inhibitions. It was not about “love”. The truth the new mentality was nothing but the absolute success of the aggressor to be a selfish as possible. It is about persons entering into an arrangement that is devoid of responsibility or regard for the other person. It is about pure and utter selfishness and uniquely grotesque behavior.

The cause of this selfishness derives plainly as the nose on my face from the advent of contraception. This mentality believes in no responsibility in the sexual act of intercourse. They view the act as a form of pleasure seeking. However it is obvious from the simple fact that in the act of intercourse, that is natural, a woman may become pregnant with a living human child. It is not simply for pleasure. But our modern society discounts human life as the Romans had. We have not progressed we have declined to a barbarity not seen in centuries.

The modern mentality now sees human life as a commodity. It does not respect the gift of offspring if not planned. It wants intelligent human beings to believe that the child now living in a woman’s womb is something other than human life. This is absurd and an insult to an intelligent person.
adolf-wissel-kalenberger-bauernfamilie-1-1
The selfishness of our society wants to do away with human life as we would an unwanted pest. We want to kill that which we cannot see. Since it is out of sight it is out of mind. We can lie to ourselves but we know it is no other than murder. The ultimate in selfishness is to kill for one’s own pleasure. The destruction of one life for our own goals is clearly the way criminal organizations work.

But this revolution used the guise of Women’s Liberation. Women can now work unencumbered by the male of her species! Interestingly the effect has been the opposite. Men have been liberated from the responsibility of a relationship with the female. He can easily disappear while the woman is now left alone to raise a child or even worse he will use all his evil guile to pressure a woman to kill her child.

Oh, there are woman out there that claim this is liberating and they are proud of having had a child aborted. Yet the truth speaks louder that the evil lies these women profess. There are armies of women who have survived this horror to realize they have wronged their unborn child and their own bodies. Sadly in many cases woman have also died in the process, making it two deaths in the fell swoop of the abortionists propaganda and pressure.

Contraception if looked on rightly is not a successful form of birth control. It often fails and puts men and women in a position they never expected to be in. Even worse is that it is a lie. It is not pleasurable simply because it is an empty act devoid of meaning. It has no love behind it. There is no commitment to one or the other. It is simply put the act of mutual masturbation. It lacks love because the real product of an honest human love is the willingness to receive each others inner being in an act of joining together to create a unique life.

This way of thinking our society has seen it keen to turn our woman into tramps. Our woman young and old are constantly being told they have to sell themselves to the opposite sex to have value. All you have to do is go to any newsstand and read the covers of the woman’s magazines. It is the utmost degradation of the female of our society and one that is now sadly ingrained.

Recently I was speaking to a young man of my acquaintance whom had told me of recent trip he took to Boston with a lady friend. I am no fool and I know that they were of course sharing the same bed. Later the same week he told me he wanted to meet a friend of his. I asked whom would that be? He gave me the name of the same young woman he had traveled to Boston. I was confused, I said “Oh, your girlfriend”. But he denied that she was his girlfriend to the point that it was obvious he did not even value her as a friend, only as a valueless acquaintance. She was simply a tool for his pleasure even though they shared the most intimate of acts. She was his prostitute though she may not realize it. He is simply put, using her to fulfill his sexual needs.

A friend would risk his life for you. A friend would have concern for your well-being. A friend makes sacrifices for the other in any relationship. I have friends both male and female and I care for them all and where ever possible I will go out of my way for them. Most of all I would never deny the relationship I have with any kindred spirit.

I sadly believe woman have been fooled to believe they are better now than their ancestors. The truth is exactly the opposite. Women were held in high regard and with respect. Woman held high and powerful positions. Women and men together raised a society based on real intimate love for one another. They shared their pains and sorrows and came out the other side. Men adored them whether wife, mother, sister or Queen. Mostly men would lay down their lives for their women in the past.

Sadly, now men run from women. They don’t want commitment to a woman and even worse they have no respect. They may smile and make a woman laugh but when he takes her to his bed he is not saying I love you. He is saying thanks for relieving me.

I only wish to end this rant to say I despise our recent history in regards to the human sexual relations and most of all the times I grew up in. I was misled and lied to and in the process it made my life very difficult. If possible I would go back and correct the actions of my youth. Without the ability to do that all I pray is that real women take the lead and put selfish men back in their place. They must change society so that a woman is respected for her mind and skills. So that the males may come to once again respect woman’s honor and his own place again beside a good strong woman.

There’s no snow*

The weather outside’s delightful
No reason to be frightful
No matter where we go,
There’s no snow, there’s no snow, There’s no snow

It was raining but now is stopping
We will all go outside hopping
Christmas lights are all  aglow
There’s no snow, There’s no snow, There’s no snow

When we finally kiss goodnight
We’ll thank God that there isn’t a storm
I will pray that you hold me tight
Even if in the car we’ll be warm

And the party is slowing dying
And our family is still good-bye’ng
As long as you love me so
I’m grateful….there’s no snow, no snow, no snow

*An Original NJ Parody for 2015  Christmas

Copyright 2015: G. Miguel Perez-Santalla

There's no snow